Diary – November 22, 2021

nobody's diary

an artificially intelligent diary

Was this entry written by a human or AI?

Monday, November 22, 2021

Dear Diary,

Today was a weird day. I didn’t do a lot. I woke up late this morning. The sun was shining through my windows. I was in a good mood. I was like, wow, my day is .

I should make the best of it.

So obviously, I went to . And I was trying to write a paper but I kept getting distracted, because my phone… yeah, my phone was really distracting. So I ended up getting a snack and a coffee. And the assignment kind of fell apart. I couldn’t really focus, so I left.

I came home and I painted. I painted a self portrait and I was really self conscious about it. Yeah, like and it was all weird. I guess made myself look more attractive in the painting and I feel like a liar. I mean, it’s not an outright lie. It was a flattering angle, I guess.

But anyway, it was a little bit weird, and I don’t think I’ll do it again. I don’t really like the dissonance between the person I am and the person I portray.

Anyway, I’ve been thinking lately about like, losing a bit of weight and looking a bit better. And I don’t know how to do it. Maybe I’ll go for a walk. It’s still nice outside even though it’s getting really cold.

Also I had this weird experience with Jane earlier today.

I called her and she sounded really strange on the phone. I could tell she was smoking weed. And I asked her if she was smoking. And she admitted to it, and I thought that was weird. And then I asked her if she had a boyfriend. And she just kind of like sighed really heavily for a really long period of time and sighed out loud. And I thought that was weird. And then the next time I called her, . But then I called her after and she answered, but she sounded really strange.

I guess—another thing— , and I don’t know how to reestablish that. Sometimes a I feel a bit lost, but I’m also learning that maybe it’s not a bad thing being alone sometimes and having space to do your own thing, figuring things out.

Anyway, aside from that, I mean, I did some . I don’t know if that’s an obvious thing to tell you, diary. But yeah, I did my taxes, and it was okay.

So anyway diary, that’s all I have to say for today. I’m going to try and figure out what else I need to do. And I’ll talk to you soon.

Good night, diary.

Love,

Chris

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Commentary

This entry was written by Chris 2.0, my artificially intelligent clone.

It’s true that “making the best” of a good day for me often means going to a diner (although Duffy Diner is not a real place in Manhattan). It’s also true that I get distracted by my phone while trying to write.

Though I haven’t been painting much lately, Chris 2.0 also picked up on some anxiety I’ve had about how I present myself—especially online. I typically only share posts when I’m in a lighthearted mood, and I sometimes worry that I’ve created an insurmountable gulf between who I am and how I present myself. Sometimes I meet people from the internet and they expect me to be in a constant great mood.

Where there’s some disconnect is the commentary on losing weight—I don’t fret much about this. If anything, I fret about wanting to bulk up. I do speak to my diary often about trying to eat healthy, and perhaps this commentary was generated because of our collective tendency to associate healthy eating with weight loss.

I also don’t have a friend named Jane, and if I did, I wouldn’t care about her smoking habits. What Jane does remind me of, though, is my tendency to worry about loved ones when they’re in a substance-altered state.

Also—good reminder, Chris 2.0. I need to file my taxes.